It was a large, box wedge-shaped robot armed with twin lifting arms and a spring-loaded spiked hammer which measured twelve inches.[1] Armored in titanium, No Apologies performed modestly in its first two competitions but reached the superheavyweight quarter-finals in Season 5.0.
Tork's Team working on No Apologies during Season 5.0.
Following the end of Comedy CentralBattleBots, No Apologies competed at ROBOLympics 2004, the predecessor to what would become RoboGames. Its first opponent was The Judge, who it had fought twice previously in Seasons 3.0 and 5.0, winning and losing one battle each. However, No Apologies lost this fight after suffering a devastating blow from its opponent's hammer, and fell into the loser's bracket. In the first round of the bracket, No Apologies met BLUE MAX, but again lost by knockout.
No Apologies was subsequently retired and has not competed since 2004. It is unknown whether the robot remains in possession of the Torkelson family.
Robot History[]
Season 3.0[]
No Apologies vs. Isosceles 1
No Apologies' first ever match was against Isosceles 1. No Apologies won by KO at 1:35 and advanced to the TV rounds.
No Apologies vs. The Judge
The Judge delivers a direct blow on No Apologies.
No Apologies took on Jascha Little and The Judge. The match began with both robots colliding with each other until The Judge pushed No Apologies straight into the pulverizer. No Apologies then took a big hit from The Judge's hammer which punctured its top. The pounding continued until No Apologies started smoking due to the impact of The Judge's hammer. No Apologies was then counted out and The Judge won by KO at 1:54. This meant that No Apologies was eliminated from the tournament, spurring a rivalry between the two teams.
Season 4.0[]
No Apologies vs. Minion
No Apologies gets its axe into Minion.
Returning for Season 4.0, No Apologies first fought the two-time superheavyweight champion, Minion. At the start of the battle, Minion immediately damaged the wedge of No Apologies with its flywheel, causing sparks to fly. Minion went at the wedge of No Apologies again, as No Apologies fired its axe, missing Minion. No Apologies then finally struck Minion with its axe, so powerful that it punctured through the Lexan armor of Minion. No Apologies then lifts the lifeless Minion onto the killsaws, slicing through its right rear tire completely. As No Apologies was driving Minion toward the pulverizer, Team Coolrobots immediately tapped out to prevent further harm to their robot and the arena hazards were shut off, leaving the pulverizer to drop to the floor. Minion driver Brian Roe confirmed during the post-match interview that they tapped out because No Apologies hit the very spot where their radio receiver for the drive was located, which immobilized Minion completely. No Apologies won by KO at 1:29 and advanced to the Round of 16.
No Apologies vs. IceBerg
No Apologies lifts IceBerg.
In the Round of 16, No Apologies met Fuzzy Mauldin and IceBerg. Before the match began, Team Toad placed a piece of Lexan on top of IceBerg to prevent getting severly damaged by No Apologies' axe. Both robots went straight at each other and No Apologies hits the top of IceBerg with its axe. This hit was absorbed by IceBerg's added Lexan piece. However, IceBerg's plow was too low on the BattleBox floor and it was having traction problems. IceBerg had its plow raised and it was now having a hard time getting underneath No Apologies. After several hits from No Apologies' axe, No Apologies' axe suddenly bent in half and started using its two lifting spikes instead. No Apologies then lifted IceBerg with one of its lifting spikes. With around thirty seconds to go, No Apologies swung onto the side of IceBerg, leaving the left front motor shorting out. IceBerg was now moving very slowly and the time ran out shortly after. IceBerg won on a close 23-22 judges' decision and No Apologies was eliminated from the tournament again.
Season 5.0[]
No Apologies vs. The Judge
The Judge smoking from No Apologies' attacks.
Due to previously entering Season 4.0, No Apologies was allowed to skip the preliminary rounds of Season 5.0, where it had a rematch with The Judge. The Judge fired its hammer early and No Apologies surveyed before scooping it up and unleashing its own hammer. The Judge struck twice, No Apologies struck once more. Both began missing each other at least twice and The Judge started smoking. No Apologies took advantage and successfully landed one hit with its hammer, then drove The Judge into a pulverizer. After The Judge escaped, No Apologies moved in and landed another blow with its hammer, holding down The Judge's hammer at one point as more smoke spewed out. The Judge had greatly reduced mobility, mostly due to burning out its motor controller, although its hammer continued flailing. No Apologies delivered one more hit until The Judge was counted out. No Apologies won by KO at 2:46 and advanced to the Round of 16.
No Apologies vs. Son of Whyachi
Here, it faced former heavyweight champion Son of Whyachi. Throughout the match, Son of Whyachi was unable to reach its weapon's maximum speed due to a bad battery. As the match began, No Apologies kept Son of Whyachi's weapon away using its special Whyachi Tool. Meanwhile, Son of Whyachi continued to fight and despite the battery problem, it managed to destroy No Apologies' Whyachi Tool and spiked hammer. In the end, No Apologies won on a close 24-21 judges' decision.
No Apologies vs. New Cruelty
New Cruelty gets stuck with No Apologies' axe.
No Apologies advanced to the quarter-finals, where it faced New Cruelty. For this match, New Cruelty opted to remove the rear plate and replaced its traditional plow with a narrower one to save weight for a thicker Lexan panel on the top, which would protect it from the pickaxe of No Apologies. New Cruelty comes in and pushes No Apologies near the pulverizer, but No Apologies strikes back with its hammer. Despite this New Cruelty managed to get No Apologies into the pulverizer. After this No Apologies takes a hit from the killsaws while pursuing New Cruelty, eventually hitting New Cruelty with its hammer again, and missed on another try. New Cruelty then gets hit by both No Apologies' hammer and the killsaws at the same time, but then shoves No Apologies onto some killsaws. New Cruelty then rams No Apologies into the entrance-ramp but No Apologies fired its axe again, but missed. New Cruelty constantly bashes No Apologies who was struggling to get away, though when New Cruelty came in again No Apologies managed to hit New Cruelty with its axe, only to get stuck to New Cruelty. A timeout was called so to separate the robots, and once that was done New Cruelty pinned No Apologies against the seam and No Apologies fired its axe again. New Cruelty began repeating its rams from earlier, but then decided to have some mercy on No Apologies and backed off, but the timer sounded at that moment. New Cruelty won on a 29-16 judges' decision and No Apologies was eliminated once again.
"Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. Go directly to jail. San Quentin, for that matter, because that would be better than facing NO APOLOGIES!"
"You can't Tork him out of anything. So don't even try! Here is NO APOLOGIES!"
"This fetching Panama hat will go perfectly with the Columbian necktie you're about to receive from NO APOLOGIES!"
